REGAL STATISTICS.

I.-According to Sir John Sinclair.

"WHERE a number of sovereigns," says Sir John, in his speech to the Highland Pipers, "are known by the same appellation as George, or James, or Henry, -the fourth of the name has in general been distinguished by superior qualities. For instance, Henry the Fourth, of France, was one of the ablest, and certainly the most popular princes that ever sat upon the throne. Henry the Fourth, of England, was remarkable for possessing, in the words of Hume, many qua- 'y lities which fitted him for his high station." James the Fourth, of Scotland, is described by our Scottish historians as having been "the most accomplished prince of the time in which he lived, as naturally generous and brave, as loving magnificence, and as eager to obtain fame;" and, added Sir John emphatically, "is not this an exact description of his descendant, George. the Fourth of England, Scotland, and Ireland ?—(loud cheers). Is he not the most accomplished prince of the age in which he lives, naturally brave and generous, loving magnificence (as becomes the monarch of a great empire), and eager to obtain fame; and has he not already acquired that fame to which he so anxiously aspired?"-(cheers), &c. &c. &c.

II.-According to other Authorities.

Henry the Fourth, of Castile, was led by the nose by a favourite, who did him the honour to sleep with his Queen.

Philip the Fourth, of Spain, surpassed all his predecessors in the felicity with which he continued to involve his extensive dominions in trouble, making a large empire smaller.

Charles the Fourth, of Spain, was the best-natured, and the most accommodating king of Europe, as his queen and some hundred grenadiers well knew.

Louis the Fourth was the most ungrateful Prince of his age, and was in constant wars with his vassals, arising out of his own injustice.

Gustavus the Fourth, of Sweden, has been some time travelling for his improvement. Twenty years ago, Mr. Wordsworth celebrated him as the most accomplished prince of Europe: what must he be now?

Murad the Fourth, of Turkey, surpassed all his predecessors in love for drinking wine, which he permitted to all his subjects.

Ferdinand the Fourth, of the Two Sicilies, yet alive to bless his subjects, has the honour to be the most stupid prince of Europe, which, amid so many competitors, is no small distinction.

SAM FOOTE AND THE SCOLD.

SAM FOOTE being scolded severely, on some occasion, by a lady of not the most agreeable temper, he replied "I have heard of tartars and brimstones ; and, by Jove, Madam, you are the cream of the one and the flower of the other."

OXFORD PRIZE POEM FOR 1823.

STONEHENGE.

WRAPT in the veil of time's unbroken gloom, Obscure as death, and silent as the tomb, Where cold oblivion holds her dusky reign, Frowns the dark pile on Sarum's lonely plain.

Yet think not here with classic eye to trace
Corinthian beauty, or Ionian grace;

No pillar'd lines with sculptur'd foliage crown'd,
No fluted remnants deck the hallow'd ground;
Firm, as implanted by some Titan's might,
Each rugged stone uprears its giant height,
Whence the poised fragment tottering seems to throw
A trembling shadow on the plain below.

Here oft, when evening sheds her twilight ray,
And gilds with fainter beam departing day,
With breathless gaze, and cheek with terror pale,
The lingering shepherd startles at the tale,
How, at deep midnight, by the moon's chill glance,
Unearthly forms prolong the viewless dance;
While on each whisp'ring breeze that murmurs by,
His busied fancy hears the hollow sigh.

Rise, from thy haunt, dread genius of the clime,
Rise, magic spirit of forgotten time!
'Tis thine to burst the mantling clouds of age,
And fling new radiance on Tradition's page:
See at thy call, from Fable's varied store,
In shadowy train the mingled visions pour;
Here the wild Briton, 'mid his wilder reign,
Spurns the proud yoke, and scorns th'oppressor's chain;
Here wizard Merlin, where the mighty fell*,
Waves the dark wand, and chants the thrilling spell.
Hark! 'tis the bardic lyre, whose harrowing strain
Wakes the rude echoes of the slumbering plain;

On this spot, it is said that the British nobles were slaughtered by Hengist.

Lo! 'tis the Druid pomp, whose lengthening line
In lowliest homage bends before the shrine.
He comes-1
-the priest-amid the sullen blaze
His snow-white robe in spectral lustre plays;
Dim gleam the torches thro' the circling night,
Dark curl the vapours round the altar's light;
O'er the black scene of death, each conscious star
In lurid glory rolls its silent car.

'Tis gone! e'en now the mystic horrors fade From Sarum's loneliness and Mona's glade; Hush'd is each note of Taliesin's lyre,

Sheath'd the fell blade, and quench'd the fatal fire.
On wings of light, Hope's angel forin appears,
Smiles on the past, and points to happier years;
Points, with uplifted hand and raptur'd eye,
To yon pure dawn that floods the opening sky;
And views, at length, the Sun of Judah pour
One cloudless noon o'er Albion's rescued shore.

THOMAS STOKES SALMON, Brasenoze College.

* Taliesin, president of the bards, flourished in the sixth century.

LOVE AND HYMEN.

LOVE had a fever-ne'er could close

His little

eyes till day was breaking; And whimsical enough, Heav'n knows,

The things he rav'd about while waking.

To let him pine so were a sin

One, to whom all the world's a debtor

So Doctor Hymen was call'd in,

And Love that night slept rather better.
Next day the case gave further hope yet,
Though still some ugly fever latent;
"Dose as before"-a gentle opiate,
For which old Hymen has a patent.

After a month of daily call,

So fast the dose went on restoring,
That Love, who first ne'er slept at all,

Now took, the rogue! to downright snoring.

ON THE VARIOUS MODES OF SHAKING HANDS

1. THE pump-handle shake is the first which deserves notice. It is executed by taking a friend's hand, and working it up and down, through an arc of fifty degrees, for about a minute and a half. To have its nature, force, and character, this shake should be performed with a fair and steady motion. No attempt should be made to give it grace, and still less variety, as the few instances in which the latter has been tried, have uniformly resulted in dislocating the shoulder of the person on whom it has been attempted. On the contrary, persons who are partial to the pump-handle shake, should be at some pains to give an equable, tranquil movement to the operation, which should on no account be continued after perspiration on the part of your friend has commenced.

2. The pendulum shake may be mentioned next, as being somewhat similar in character; but moving, as the name indicates, in horizontal, instead of a perpendicular direction. It is executed by sweeping your hands horizontally towards your friend's, and after the junction is effected, rowing with it, from one side to the other, according to the pleasure of the parties. The only caution in its use which needs particularly to be given, is not to insist on performing it in a plane strictly parallel, to the horizon. You may observe a person that has been educated to the pump-handle shake, and another that had brought home the pendulum from a foreign voyage. They met, joined hands, and attempted to put them in motion. They were neither of them feeble men. One endeavoured to pump, and the other to puddle; their faces reddened;