a person of fashion (as affairs are now managed) finds it abfolutely impoffible to comply with this practice. Then again the fervice always begins at fuch unfashionable hours, that in the morning a man muft huddle on his cloaths like a boy to run to school, and in an afternoon must inevitably go without his dinner. In order to remove all these objections, and that fome ritual may be established in this kingdom agreeable to our inclinations and confiftent with our practice, the following SCHEME has been lately fent me in order to fubmit it to the ferious confideration of the public.

Imprimis, Ir is humbly propofed, that Chriftianity be entirely abolished by Act of Parliament, and that no other religion be impofed on us in it's ftead; but as the age grows daily more and more enlightened, we may at laft be quite delivered from the influence of fuperftition and bigotry.

Secondly, THAT in order to prevent our ever relapfing into pious errors, and that the common people may not lofe their holiday, every Sunday be fet apart to commemorate our victory over all religion; that the Churches be turned into Free-thinking Meeting-Houfes, and difcourfes read in them to confute the doctrine of a future ftate, the immortality of the foul, and other abfurd notions, which fome people now regard as objects of belief.

to our

Thirdly, THAT a Ritual be compiled exactly oppofite prefent Liturgy; and that inftead of reading portions of Scripture, the firft and fecond leffons thall confift of a section of the Poft-humous Works of Lord Bolingbroke, or of a few pages from the writings of Spinoza, Chubb, Maundeville, Hobbes, Collins, Tindal, c. from which writers the preachers fhall also take their

text.

Fourthly, THAT the ufual Feafts and Fafts, viz. Christmas Day, Eafter Sunday, Trinity Sunday, &c. be ftill preferved; but that on those days difcourfes be delivered fuitable to the occafion, containing a refutation of the Nativity, the Refurrection, the Trinity,

&c.

Fifthly, THAT inftead of the vile melody of a clerk bawling out two ftaves of Sternhold and Hopkins, or a cathedral choir finging anthems from the pfalter, some of the most fashionable cantatas, opera-airs, fongs, or catches, be performed by the best voices for the entertainment of the company.

Laftly, THAT the whole fervice be conducted with fuch tafte and elegance, as may render these Free-thinking Meeting Houfes as agreeable as the Theatres; and that they may be even more judiciously calculated for the propagation of atheism and infidelity, than the Robin Hood Society or the Oratory in Clare Market.

I

On CLEANLINESS. [Spect. N° 631.]

HAD occafion to go a few miles out of town, fome days fince, in a ftage coach, where I had for my fellow-travellers a dirty beau, and a pretty young quakerwoman. Having no inclination to talk much at that time, I placed myfelf backward, with a defign to fervey them, and pick a speculation out of my two companions. Their different figures were fufficient of themfelves to draw my attention. The gentleman was deffed in a fuit, the ground whereof had been black, as 1 perceived from fome few spaces that had escaped the powder, which was incorporated with the greatest part of his coat his periwig, which coft no small fum, was after so flovenly a manner caft over his shoulders, that it seemed not to have been combed fince the year 1712; his linen, which was not much concealed, was daubed with plain Spanish from the chin to the lowest button, and the diamond upon his finger (which naturally dreaded the water) put me in mind how it sparkled amidft the rubbish of the mine, where it was first difcovered. On the other hand, the pretty quaker appeared in all the elegance of cleanliness. Not a fpeck was to be found on her. A clear clean oval face, juft edged about with little, thin plaits of the pureft cambric, received great advantages from the fhade of her

black

black hood; as did the whiteness of her arms from that fober coloured stuff, in which he had clothed her-felf. The plainnefs of her drefs was very well fuited to the fimplicity of her phrases, all which put together, tho' they could not give me a great opinion of her religion, they did of her innocence.

THIS adventure occafioned my throwing together a few hints upon cleanliness, which I fhall confider as one of the half-virtues, as Ariftotle calls them, and fhall recommend it under the three following heads. As it is a mark of politenefs; as it produces love; and as it bears analogy to purity of mind,

First, Ir is a mark of politeness. It is univerfally agreed upon, that no one, unadorned with this virtue, can go into company without giving a manifeft offence. The eafier or higher any one's fortune is, this duty rifes proportionably. The different nations of the world are as much diftinguished by their cleanliness, as by their arts and fciences. The more any country is civilized, the more they confult this part of politeness. We need but compare our ideas of a female Hottentot and an English beauty to be fatisfied of the truth of what hath been advanced.

In the next place, cleanliness may be faid to be the fofter-mother of love. Beauty indeed moft commonly produces that paffion in the mind, but cleanliness preferves it. An indifferent face and perfon, kept in perpetual neatness, hath won many a heart from a pretty flattern. Age itself is not unamiable, while it is preferved clean and unfullied like a piece of metal con ftantly kept fmooth and bright, we look on it with more pleasure than on a new veffel that is canker'd with ruft.

I MIGHT obferve further, that as cleanlinefs renders us agreeable to others, fo it makes us eafy to ourselves ; that it is an excellent prefervative of health; and that feveral vices, deftructive both to mind and body, are inconfiftent with the habit of it. But thefe reflections I fhall leave to the leisure of my readers, and fhall ob. ferve in the third place, that it bears a great analogy

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with

with purity of mind, and naturally infpires refined fentiments and paffions.

WE find from experience, that through the prevalence of custom, the moft vicious actions lofe their horror, by being made familiar to us. On the contrary, those who live in the neighbourhood of good examples, fly from the first appearances of what is fhocking. It fares with us much after the fame manner, as our ideas. Our fenfes, which are the inlets to all the images conveyed to the mind, can only tranfmit the impreffion of fuch things as ufually furround them. So that pure and unfullied thoughts are naturally fuggefted to the mind, by thofe objects that perpetually encompass us, when they are beautiful and elegant in their kind.

IN the Eaft, where the warmth of the climate makes cleanliness more immediately neceffary than in colder countries, it is made one part of their religion: the Jewish law, (and the Mahometan, which in fome things copies after it) is filled with bathings, purifications, and other rites of the like nature. Though there is the above-named convenient reafon to be affigned for these ceremonies, the chief intention undoubtedly was to typify inward purity and cleannefs of heart by thofe outward washings. We read feveral injunctions of this kind in the book of Deuteronomy, which confirm this truth; and which are but ill accounted for by faying as fome do, that they were only inftituted for convenience in the defert, which otherways could not have been habitable for fo many years.

I SHALL conclude this effay, with a ftory which I have fome where read in an account of Mahometan fuperftitions.

A Dervife of great fanctity one morning had the misfortune as he took up a cryftal cup, which was confecrated to the prophet, to let it fall upon the ground, and dash it in pieces. His fon coming in, fometime after, he ftretched out his hand to blefs him, as his manner was every morning; but the youth going out ftumbled over the threshold and broke his arm. As the old man wondered at these events, a caravan paf

fed by in its way from Mecca. The Dervife approached it to beg a bleffing; but as he ftroked one of the holy camels, he received a kick from the beaft, that' forely bruised him. His forrow and amazement increased upon him, till he recollected that thro' hurry and inadvertency he had that morning come abroad without washing his hands.

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The Story of ABDALLAH and BALSORA.

T

[Guard. N° 167.]

HE following ftory is lately translated out of an Arabian manufcript, which I think has very much the turn of an oriental tale; and as it has never before been printed, I question not but it will be highly acceptable to my reader.

THE name of Helim is ftill famous through all the eaftern parts of the world. He is called among the Perfians, even to this day, Helim the great phyfician. He was acquainted with all the powers of fimples, understood all the influences of the ftars, and knew the fecrets that were engraved on the feal of Solomon the fon of David. Helim was alfo governor of the Black Palace, and chief of the phyficians to Alnarefchin the great king of Perfia.

ALNARESCHIN was the most dreadful tyrant that ever reigned in this country. He was of a fearful, fufpicious, and cruel nature, having put to death upon very flight jealoufies and furmifes five and thirty of his queens, and above twenty fons whom he fufpected to have confpired against his life. Being at length weari. ed with the exercife of fo many cruelties in his own family, and fearing left the whole race of Caliphs fhould be entirely loft, he one day fent for Helim and fpoke to him after this manner. Helim," faid he, "I have long admired thy great wifdom, and retired way of living. I fhall now fhew thee the entire "confidence which I place in thee. I have only two L 6 "fons

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