Speed. Ay, sir: I, a lost mutton, gave your letter to her, a laced mutton; and she, a laced mutton, gave me, a lost mutton, nothing for my labour. Pro. Here's too small a pasture for such a store of muttons. [best stick her. Speed. If the ground be overcharg'd, you were Pro. Nay, in that you are astray; 'twere best pound you. [for carrying your letter. Speed. Nay, sir, less than a pound shall serve me Pro. You mistake; I mean the pound, a pinfold. Speed. From a pound to a pin? fold it over and over, [lover. "Tis threefold too little for carrying a letter to your Pro. But what said she? did she nod? Speed. I. Pro. Nod I? why, that's noddy. Speed. You mistook, sir; say she did nod: and you ask me, if she did nod, and I say, I.

[SPEED nods.

Pro. And that set together, is-noddy. Speed. Now you have taken the pains to set it together, take it for your pains.

Pro. No, no, you shall have it for bearing the letter. [with you. Speed. Well, I perceive, I must be fain to bear Pro. Why, sir, how do you bear with me? Speed. Marry, sir, the letter very orderly; having nothing but the word, noddy, for my pains.

Pro. Beshrew me, but you have a quick wit. Speed. And yet it cannot overtake your slow purse. [said she? Pro. Come, come, open the matter in brief; what Speed. Open your purse, that the money and the matter may be both at once deliver'd [said she? Pro. Well, sir, here is for your pains: What Speed. Truly, sir, I think you'll hardly win her. Pro. Why? Could'st thou perceive so much from her?

Speed. Sir, I could perceive nothing at all from her; no, not so much as a ducat for delivering your letter: And being so hard to me that brought your mind, I fear she'll prove as hard to you in telling her mind. Give her no token but stones; for she's as hard as steel.

Pro. What, said she nothing?

Speed. No, not so much as-take this for thy pains. To testify your bounty, I thank you, you have testern'd me; in requital whereof, henceforth carry your letters yourself: and so, sír, I'll commend you to my master. [wreck: Pro. Go, go, be gone, to save your ship from Which cannot perish, having thee aboard, Being destined to a drier death on shore :I must go send some better messenger; I fear my Julia would not deign my lines, Receiving them from such a worthless post.

[Exeunt.

According to my shallow simple skill.
Jul. What think'st thou of the fair Sir Eglamour?
Luc. As of a knight well spoken, neat and fine;
But, were I you, he never should be mine.
Jul. What think'st thou of the rich Mercatio?
Luc. Well of his wealth; but of himself, so, so.
Jul. What think'st thou of the gentle Proteus?
Luc. Lord, lord! to see what folly reigns in us!
Jul. How now, what means this passion at his
name?

Luc. Pardon, dear madam; 'tis a passing shame,
That I, unworthy body as I am,
Should censure thus on lovely gentlemen.

Jul. Why not on Proteus, as of all the rest? Luc. Then thus,-of many good I think him best Jul. Your reason?

Luc. I have no other but a woman's reason. I think him so, because I think him so. [him? Jul. And would'st thou have me cast my love or Luc. Ay, if you thought your love not cast away Jul. Why, he of all the rest hath never mov'd me Luc. Yet he of all the rest, I think, best loves ye Jul. His little speaking shows his love but small Luc. Fire, that is closest kept, burns most of all. Jul. They do not love, that do not show their love Luc. Oh! they love least, that let men know their love.

Jul. I would I knew his mind.
Luc. Peruse this paper, madam.
Jul. To Julia,-Say, from whom!
Luc. That the contents will show.
Jul. Say, say; who gave it thee?
Luc. Sir Valentine's page; and sent, I think
from Proteus:

He would have given it you, but I, being in the way
Did in your name receive it; pardon the fault
I pray.

Jul. Now, by my modesty, a goodly broker! Dare you presume to harbour wanton lines? To whisper and conspire against my youth? Now, trust me, 'tis an office of great worth, And you an officer fit for the place. There, take the paper, see it be return'd; Or else return no more into my sight. Luc. To plead for love deserves more fee than Jul. Will you be gone?

[hate

Luc. That you may ruminate. [Exit Jul. And yet I would I had o'erlooked the letter It were a shame to call her back again, And pray her to a fault for which I chid her. What fool is she, that knows I am a maid, And would not force the letter to my view? Since maids, in modesty, say No, to that Which they would have the profferer construe, Ay Fie, fie! how wayward is this foolish love, That, like a testy babe, will scratch the nurse, And presently, all humbled, kiss the rod! How churlishly I chid Lucetta hence, When willingly I would have had her here! How angrily I taught my brow to frown, When inward joy enforc'd my heart to smile! And ask remission for my folly past:My penance is, to call Lucetta back, What ho! Lucetta!

my mind

Luc. Nothing.

Jul. Why did'st thou stoop then?

Jul. Come, come, will't please you go?

Luc. To take a paper up that I let fall.
Jul. And is that paper nothing?
Luc. Nothing concerning me.

Jul. Then let it lie for those that it concerns. Luc. Madam, it will not lie where it concerns, Unless it have a false interpreter.

[rhyme. Jul. Some love of your's hath writ to you in Lue. That I might sing it, madam, to a tune: Give me a note: your ladyship can set.

Jul. As little by such toys as may be possible: Best sing it to the tune of "Light o' love." Lue. It is too heavy for so light a tune. Jul. Heavy? belike it hath some burden then. Luc. Ay; and melodious were it, would you sing it. Jul. And why not you?

Luc. I cannot reach so high.

Jul. Let's see your song-How, now, minion?
Luc. Keep tune there still, so ou will sing it out;
And yet, methinks, I do not like this tune.
Jul. You do not?

Luc. No, madam; it is too sharp.
Jul. You, minion, are too saucy.
Luc. Nay, now you are too flat,

And mar the concord with too harsh a descant:
There wanteth but a mean to fill your song.
Jul. The mean is drown'd with your unruly base.
Luc. Indeed, I bid the base for Proteus.
Jul. This babble shall not henceforth trouble me.
Here is a coil with protestation! [Tears the letter.
Go, get you gone; and let the papers lie:
You would be fingering them, to anger me.
Luc. She makes it strange; but she would be
best pleas'd

To be so anger'd with another letter.

[Exit.

Jul. Nay, would I were so anger'd with the same; O hateful hands, to tear such loving words! Injurious wasps! to feed on such sweet honey And kill the bees, that yield it, with your stings! I'll kiss each several paper for amends.

And here is writ-"kind Julia;"-unkind Julia!
As in revenge of thy ingratitude,

I throw thy name against the bruising stones,
Trampling contemptuously on thy disdain.
Look, here is writ-"love-wounded Proteus:"-
Poor wounded name! my bosom, as a bed, [heal'd;
Shall lodge thee, till thy wound be thoroughly

And thus I search it with a sovereign kiss.
But twice, or thrice, was Proteus written down?
Be calm, good wind, blow not a word away,
Till I have found each letter in the letter, [bear
Except mine own name; that some whirlwind
Unto a ragged, fearful, hanging rock,
And throw it thence into the raging sea!
Lo, here in one line is his name twice writ,-
"Poor forlorn Proteus, passionate Proteus,
To the sweet Julia;" that I'll tear away;
And yet I will not, sith so prettily
He couples it to his complaining names:
Thus will I fold them one upon another;
Now kiss, embrace, contend, do what you will.
Re-enter LUCETTA.

Luc. Madam, dinner's ready, and your father stays.
Jul. Well, let us go.
[here?
Luc. What, shall these papers lie like tell-tales
Jul. If you respect them, best to take them up!
Luc. Nay, I was taken up for laying them down:
Yet here they shall not lie, for catching cold.

Jul. I see, you have a month's mind to them. Inc. Ay, madam, you may say what sights you see;

I see things too, although you judge I wink.

[Exeunt

SCENE III.-The same.-A Room in
Antonio's House.

Enter ANTONIO and PANTHINO.

Ant. Tell me, Panthino, what sad talk was that, Wherewith my brother held you in the cloister? Pan. "Twas of his nephew Proteus, your son. Ant. Why, what of him?

Pan. He wonder'd that your lordship
Would suffer him to spend his youth at home.
While other men, of slender reputation,
Put forth their sons to seek preferment out:
Some to the wars, to try their fortune there;
Some to discover islands far away;
Some to the studious universities.

For any, or for all these exercises,
He said that Proteus, your son, was meet;
And did request me to importune you,
To let him spend his time no more at home,
Which would be great impeachment to his age,
In having known no travel in his youth.

Ant. Nor need'st thou much importune me to that
Whereon this month I have been hammering.
I have consider'd well his loss of time;
And how he cannot be a perfect man,
Not being try'd and tutor❜d in the world:
Experience is by industry achiev'd,
And perfected by the swift course of time:
Then, tell me, whither were I best to send him?
Pan. I think your lordship is not ignorant,
How his companion, youthful Valentine,
Attends the emperor in his royal court.
Ant. I know it well.
Pan. "Twere good, I think, your lordship sent
There shall he practise tilts and tournaments,
Hear sweet discourse, converse with noblemen;
And be in eye of every exercise,

[him thither:

Worthy his youth and nobleness of birth.

Ant. I like thy counsel; well hast thou advised;
And, that thou may'st perceive how well I like it,
The execution of it shall make known;
Even with the speediest execution

I will despatch him to the emperor's court.
Pant. To-morrow, may it please you, Don
With other gentlemen of good esteem,
Alphonso,
Are journeying to salute the emperor,
And to commend their service to his will.

Ant. Good company; with them shall Proteus go. And in good time.-Now will we break with him. Enter PROTEUS.

Pro. Sweet love! sweet lines! sweet life!
Here is her hand, the agent of her heart;
Here is her oath for love, her honour's pawn:
Oh! that our fathers would applaud our loves,
To seal our happiness with their consents!
Oh, heavenly Julia!

Ant. How now? what letter are you reading there?
Pro. May't please your lordship, 'tis a word or two
Of commendation sent from Valentine,
Deliver'd by a friend that came from him.

Ant. Lend me the letter; let me see what news. Pro. There is no news, my lord; but that he writes How happily he lives, how well belov'd, And daily graced by the emperor; Wishing me with him, partner of his fortune. Ant. And how stand you affected to his wish? Pro. As one relying on your lordship's will, And not depending on his friendly wish.

Ant. My will is something sorted with his wish

Muse not that I thus suddenly proceed;
For what I will, I will, and there an end.
I am resolv'd that thou shalt spend some time
With Valentinus in the emperor's court:
What maintenance he from his friends receives,
Like exhibition thou shalt have from me.
To-morrow be in readiness to go:
Excuse it not, for I'm peremptory.

Pro. My lord, I cannot be so soon provided;
Please you, deliberate a day or two.

[thee: Ant. Look, what thou want'st shall be sent after No more of stay; to-morrow thou must go.Come on, Panthino; you shall be employ'd To hasten on his expedition.

[Exeunt ANT. and PAN. Pro. Thus have I shunn'd the fire, for fear of burning;

And drench'd me in the sea, where I am drown'd:
I fear'd to show my father Julia's letter,
Lest he should take exceptions to my love;
And with the vantage of mine own excuse
Hath he excepted most against my love,
Oh! how this spring of love resembleth
The uncertain glory of an April day;
Which now shows all the beauty of the sun,
And by and by a cloud takes all away!
Re-enter PANTHINO.

Pan. Sir Proteus, your father calls for you;
He is in haste; therefore, I pray you, go.
Pro. Why, this it is! my heart accords thereto;
And yet a thousand times it answers, No.
[Exeunt.

Speed. She is not within hearing, sir.
Val. Why, sir, who bade you call her?
Speed. Your worship, sir; or else I mistook.
Val. Well, you'll still be too forward.
Speed. And yet I was last chidden for being too
Val. Go to, sir; tell me, do you know madam
Silvia?

Speed. She that your worship loves?

[slow.

Val. Why how know you that I am in love? Speed. Marry: By these special marks: First, you have learned, like Sir Proteus, to wreath your arms like a malecontent: to relish a love song, line a robin redbreast; to walk alone, like one that had the pestilence; to sigh, like a schoolboy that had lost his A, B, C; to weep, like a young wench that had buried her grandam; to fast, like one that takes diet; to watch, like one that fears robbing; to speak puling, like a beggar at Hallowmas. You were wont, when you laughed, to crow like a cock; when you walked, to walk like one of the lions; when you fasted, it was presently after dinner; when you looked sadly, it was for want of money: and now you are metamorphosed with a mistress, that, when I look on you, I can hardly think you my master.

Val. Are all these things perceiv'd in me?
Speed. They are all perceiv'd without you.
Val. Without me? They cannot.

Speed. Without you? nay, that's certain, for, without you were so simple, none else would: but you are so without these follies, that these follies are within you, and shine through you like the water in an urinal; that not an eye that sees you but is a physician to comment on your malady.

Val. But, tell me, dost thou know my lady Silvia? Speed. She, that you gaze on so, as she sits at supper?

Val. Hast thou observ'd that? even she I mean. Speed. Why, sir, I know her not.

Val. Dost thou know her by my gazing on her, and yet know'st her not.

Speed. Is she not hard favoured, sir? Val. Not so fair, boy, as well favoured. Speed. Sir, I know that well enough. Val. What dost thou know? [favoured. Speed. That she is not so fair, as (of you) well Val. I mean, that her beauty is exquisite, but her favour infinite.

Speed. That's because the one is painted, and the other out of all count?

Val. How painted? and how out of count? Speed. Marry, sir, so painted, to make her fair, that no man counts of her beauty. [beauty. Val. How esteem'st thou me? I account of her Speed. You never saw her since she was deformed. Val. How long hath she been deformed? Speed. Ever since you loved her.

Val. I have loved her ever since I saw her; and still I see her beautiful.

Speed. If you love her, you cannot see her.
Val. Why?

mine eyes; or your own had the lights they were
Speed. Because love is blind. O that you had
going ungartered!
wont to have, when you chid at Sir Proteus for

Val. What should I see then?

Speed. Your own present folly, and her passing deformity: for he, being in love, could not see to garter his hose; and you, being in love, cannot see to put on your hose.

Val. Belike, boy, then you are in love; for last morning you could not see to wipe my shoes.

I

thank you, you swinged me for my love, which Speed. True, sir; I was in love with my bed: makes me the bolder to chide you for yours.

Val. In conclusion, I stand affected to her. Speed. I would you were set: so, your affection would cease.

Val. Last night she enjoined me to write some lines to one she loves.

Speed. And have you?
Val. I have.

Speed. Are they not lamely writ?

Val. No, boy, but as well I can do them:Peace, here she comes.

Enter SILVIA.

Speed. O excellent motion! O exceeding puppet; now will he interpret to her. [morrows. Val. Madam and mistress, a thousand goodSpeed. O'give you good even! Here's a million of manners. [Aside. Sil. Sir Valentine and servant, to you two thousand.

Speed. He should give her interest; and she gives it him.

Val. As you enjoin'd me, I have writ your letter, Unto the secret nameless friend of yours; Which I was much unwilling to proceed in, But for my duty to your ladyship.

Sil. I thank you, gentle servant: 'tis very clerkly done. [off; Val. Now trust me, madam, it came hardly For, being ignorant to whom it goes, I writ at random, very doubtfully.

[pains. Sil. Perchance you think too much of so much Val. No, madam; so it stead you, I will write, Please you command, a thousand times as much: And yet,

Sil. A pretty period! Well, I guess the sequel: And yet I will not name it;-and yet I care not;And yet take this again;-and yet I thank you; Meaning henceforth to trouble you no more. Speed. And yet you will; and yet another yet. [Aside. Val. What means your ladyship? do you not like it?

Sil. Yes, yes; the lines are very quaintly writ : But since unwillingly, take them again! Nay take them.

Val. Madam, they are for you.

Sil. Ay, ay; you writ them, sir, at my request:
But I will none of them, they are for you.
I would have had them writ more movingly.
Val. Please you, I'll write your ladyship another.
Sil. And when it's writ, for my sake read it over;
And if it please you, so: if not, why so.

Val. If it please me, madam! what then?
Sil. Why, if it please you, take it for your
labour;

And so good-morrow, servant. [Exit SILVIA.
Speed. O jest unseen, inscrutable, invisible,
As a nose on a man's face, or a weathercock on a
steeple!
[suitor,
My master sues to her; and she hath taught her
He being her pupil, to become her tutor.

O excellent device! was there ever heard a better? That my master, being scribe, to himself should write the letter?

Val. How now, sir? what are you reasoning with yourself?

Speed. Nay, I was rhyming; 'tis you that have

the reason.

Val. To do what?

Speed. To be a spokesman from madam Silvia. Val. To whom?

Speed. To yourself; why, she woos you by a figure.

Val. What figure?

Speed. By a letter, I should say.

Val. Why, she hath not writ to me? Speed. What need she, when she hath made you write to yourself? Why, do you not perceive the jest?

Val. No, believe me, Speed. No believing you, indeed, sir: But did you perceive her earnest?

Val. She gave me none, except an angry word. Speed. Why, she hath given you a letter. Val. That's the letter I writ to her friend. Speed. And that letter hath she deliver'd, and there an end.

Val. I would it were no worse. Speed. I'll warrant you, 'tis as well: "For often you have writ to her; and she, in modesty,

Or else for want of idle time, could not again reply;

Or fearing else some messenger, that might her mind discover,

Herself hath taught her love himself to write unto her lover."

All this I speak in print; for in print I found it.Why muse you, sir? 'tis dinner time.

Val. I have dined.

Speed. Ay, but hearken, sir: though the came leon Love can feed on the air, I am one that am nourishd by my victuals, and would fain have meat Oh! be not like your mistress, be moved, be moved. [Exeunt.

SCENE II.-Verona.-A Room in Julia's House. Enter PROTEUS and JULIA.

Pro. Have patience, gentle Julia. Jul. I must, where is no remedy. Pro. When possibly I can, I will return. Jul. If you turn not, you will return the sooner: Keep this remembrance for thy Julia's sake. [Giving a ring. Pro. Why then we'll make exchange; here, take you this.

Jul. And seal the bargain with a holy kiss. Pro. Here is my hand for my true constancy; And when that hour o'er-slips me in the day, Wherein I sigh not, Julia, for thy sake, The next ensuing hour some foul mischance Torment me for my love's forgetfulness! My father stays my coming; answer not; The tide is now: nay not the tide of tears; That tide will stay me longer than I should.

[Exit JULIA
Julia, farewell.-What! gone without a word?
Ay, so true love should do; it cannot speak ;
For truth hath better deeds, than words, to grace it.
Enter PANTHINO.

Pan. Sir Proteus, you are staid for.
Pro. Go; I come, I come:-

Alas! this parting strikes poor lovers dumb.

[Exeunt

SCENE III.-The same.-A Street.

Enter LAUNCE, leading a dog.

Laun. Nay, 'twill be this hour ere I have done weeping; all the kind of the Launces have this very fault: I have received my proportion, like the prodigious son, and am going with Sir Proteus to the Imperial's court. I think Crab my dog to be the sourest-natured dog that lives: my mother weeping, my father wailing, my sister crying, our maid howling, our cat wringing her hands, and all our house in a great perplexity, yet did not this cruel-hearted cur shed one tear: he is a stone, a very pebble stone, and has no more pity in him than a dog; a Jew would have wept to have seen our parting; why, my grandam having no eyes, look you, wept herself blind at my parting. Nay, I'll show you the manner of it: This shoe is my father;-no, this left shoe is my father:-no, no, this left shoe is my mother;-nay, that cannot be so neither;-yes, it is so; it is so; it hath the worser sole: This shoe, with the hole in it, is my mother, and this my father; a vengeance on't! there 'tis now, sir, this staff is my sister; for, look you, she is as white as a lily, and as small as a wand: this hat is Nan, our maid; I am the dog: no, the dog is himself, and I am the dog.-Oh! the dog is me, and I am myself: ay, so, so. Now come I to my father; "Father, your blessing;" now should not the shoe speak a word for weeping; now should I kiss my father: well, he weeps on:

Enter PANTHINO.

Pan. Launce, away, away, aboard; thy master is shipped, and thou art to post after with oars. What's the matter? why weepest thou, man? Away, ass; you will lose the tide, if you tarry any longer.

Laun. It is no matter if the tide were lost; for it is the unkindest tied that ever any man tied. Pan. What's the unkindest tide?

Laun. Why, he that's tied here; Crab, my dog. Pan. Tut, man, I mean thou'lt lose the flood; and, in losing the flood, lose thy voyage; and, in losing thy voyage, lose thy master; and, in losing thy master, lose thy service; and, in losing thy service,-Why dost thou stop my mouth?

Laun. For fear thou should'st lose thy tongue.
Pan. Where should I lose my tongue?
Laun. In thy tale.

Pan. In thy tail?

Laun. Lose the tide, and the voyage, and the master, and the service, and the tied!-Why, man, if the river were dry, I am able to fill it with my tears; if the wind were down, I could drive the boat with my sighs. [thee. Pan. Come, come away, man; I was sent to call Laun. Sir, call me what thou darest. Pan. Wilt thou go?

Laun. Well, I will go.

[Exeunt.

SCENE IV.-Milan.-An Apartment in the Duke's Palace.

Enter VALENTINE, SILVIA, THURIO, and SPEED. Sil. Servant

Val. Mistress.

Speed. Master, Sir Thurio frowns on you. Val. Ay, boy, it's for love.

Speed. Not of you.

Val. Of my mistress then.

Speed. "Twere good, you knocked him. Sil. Servant, you are sad.

Val. Indeed, madam, I seem so.

Thu. Seem you that you are not.
Val. Haply, I do.

Thu. So do counterfeits.

Val. So do you.

Thu. What seem I, that I am not?
Val. Wise.

Thu. What instance of the contrary?
Val. Your folly.

Thu. And how quote you my folly?
Val. I quote it in your jerkin.
Thu. My jerkin is a doublet.

Val. Well, then, I'll double your folly.
Thu. How?

[colour? Sil. What, angry, Sir Thurio? do you change Val. Give him leave, madam: he is a kind of cameleon. [blood than live in your air. Thu. That hath more mind to feed on your Val. You have said, sir.

Thu. Ay, sir, and done too, for this time. Val. I know it well, sir; you always end ere you begin. [quickly shot off. Sil. A fine volley of words, gentlemen, and Val. "Tis indeed, madam; we thank the giver. Sil. Who is that servant?

Val. Yourself, sweet lady; for you gave the

fire: Sir Thurio borrows his wit from your ladyship's looks, and spends what he borrows, kindly in your company.

Thu. Sir, if you spend word for word with me, I shall make your wit bankrupt.

Val. I know it well, sir; you have an exchequer of words, and, I think, no other treasure to give your followers; for it appears by their bare liveries, that they live by your bare words. [my father. Sil. No more, gentlemen, no more; here comes Enter DUKE.

Duke. Now, daughter Silvia, you are hard beset.
What say you to a letter from your friends
Sir Valentine, your father's in good health:
Of much good news?

To any happy messenger from thence.
Val. My lord, I will be thankful

[man.

Duke. Know you Don Antonio, your countryTo be of worth, and worthy estimation, Val. Ay, my good lord, I know the gentleman And not without desert so well reputed.

Duke. Hath he not a son?

Val. Ay, my good lord; a son, that well deserves The honour and regard of such a father.

Duke. You know him well?

We have convers'd and spent our hours together:
Val. I knew him as myself; for from our infancy
And though myself have been an idle truant,
Omitting the sweet benefit of time
To clothe mine age with angel-like perfection,
Yet hath Sir Proteus, for that's his name,
Made use and fair advantage of his days:
His years but young, but his experience old;
His head unmellow'd, but his judgment ripe
And, in a word, (for far behind his worth
Come all the praises that I now bestow,)
He is complete in feature, and in mind,"
With all good grace to grace a gentleman.

Duke. Beshrew me, sir, but if he make this good He is as worthy for an empress' love,

As meet to be an emperor's counsellor.
Well, sir; this gentleman is come to me,
With commendation from great potentates;
And here he means to spend his time awhile:
I think 'tis no unwelcome news to you.

[he.

Val. Should I have wish'd a thing, it had been Duke. Welcome him then according to his worth; Silvia, I speak to you; and you, Sir Thurio:For Valentine, I need not 'cite him to it: I'll send him hither to you presently.

[Exit DUKE.

Val. This is the gentleman I told your ladyship Had come along with me, but that his mistress Did hold his eyes lock'd in her crystal looks.

Sil. Belike, that now she hath enfranchis'd them Upon some other pawn for fealty. [still. Val. Nay, sure, I think she holds them prisoners Sil. Nay, then he should be blind; and, being blind,

How could he see his way to seek out you?
Val. Why, lady, love hath twenty pair of eyes.
Thu. They say, that love hath not an eye at all.
Upon a homely object love can wink.
Val. To see such lovers, Thurio, as yourself.

Enter PROTEUS.