DEAR BOY, LETTER LXXVIII. April the fitth, 1746. BEFORE it is very long, I am of opinion, that you will both think and speak more favourably of women than you do now. You seem to think, that, from Eve downwards, they have done a great deal of mischief. As for that Lady, I give her up to you; but, since her time, history will inform you, that men have done much more mischief in the world than women; and, to say the truth, I would not advise you to trust either, more than is absolutely necessary. But this I will advise you to, which is, never to attack whole bodies of any kind; for, besides that all general rules have their exceptions, you unnecessarily make yourself a great number of enemies, by attacking a corps collectively. Among women, as among men, there are good as well as bad, and it may be full as many, or more, good than among men. This rule holds as to lawyers, soldiers, parsons, courtiers, citizens, &c. They are all men, subject to the same passions and sentiments, differing only in the manner, according to their several educations; and it would be as imprudent as unjust to attack any of them by the lump. Individuals forgive sometimes; but bodies and societies never do. Many young people think it very genteel and witty to abuse the Clergy; in which they are extremely mistaken; since, in my opinion, parsons are very like other men, and neither the better nor the worse for wearing a black gown. All general reflections, upon nations and societies, are the trite, threadbare jokes of those who set up for wit without having any, and so have recourse to common place. Judge of individuals from your own knowledge of them, and not from their sex, profession, or denomination. Though, at my return, which, I hope, will be very soon, I shall not find your feet lengthened, I hope I shall find your head a good deal so, and then I shall not much mind your feet. In two or three months after my return, you and I shall part for some time: you must go to read men, as well as books, of all languages and nations. Observation and reflection will then be very necessary for you. We will talk this matter over fully when we meet: which, I hope, will be in the last week of this month; till when, I have the honour of being Your most faithful servant. DEAR BOY, LETTER LXXIX. Bath, September the 29th, O. S. 1746, I RECEIVED by the last mail your letter of the 23d N. S. from Heidelberg; and am very well pleased to find that you inform yourself of the particulars of the several places you go through. You do mighty right to see the curiosities in those several places; such as the golden Bull at Frankfort, the tun at Heidelberg, &c. Other travellers see them and talk of them, it is very proper to see them too; but remember, that seeing is the least material object of travelling; hearing and knowing are the essential points. Therefore pray let your inquiries be chiefly directed to the knowledge of the constitution and particular customs of the places where you either reside at, or pass through; whom they belong to, by what right and tenure, and since when; in whom the supreme authority is lodged; and by what Magistrates, and in what manner, the civil and the criminal justice is administered. It is likewise necessary to get as much acquaintance as you can, in order to observe the characters and manners of the people; for, though human nature is in truth the same through the whole human species, yet it is so differently modified and varied, by education, habit, and different customs, that one should, upon a slight and superficial observation, almost think it different. As I have never been in Switzerland myself, I must desire you to inform me, now and then, of the constitution of that country. As for instance; Do the Thirteen Cantons, jointly and collectively, form one government, where the supreme authority is lodged; or is each Canton sovereign in itself, and under no tie or constitutional obligation of acting in common concert with the other Cantons? Can any one Canton make war or alliances with a foreign Power, without the consent of the other twelve, or at least a majority of them? Can one Canton declare war against another? If every Canton is sovereign and independent in itself, in whom is the supreme power of that Canton lodged? Is it in one man, or in a certain number of men? If in one man, what is he called? If in a number, what are they called; Senate, Council, or what? I do not suppose that you can yet know these things yourself: but a very little inquiry, of those who do, will enable you to answer me these few questions in your next. You see, I am sure, the necessity of knowing these things thoroughly, and, consequently, the necessity of conversing much with the people of the country, who alone can inform you rightly: whereas, most of the English, who travel, converse only with each other, and consequently know no more, when they return to England, than they did when they left it. This proceeds from a mauvaise honte, which makes them ashamed of going into company; and frequently too from the want of the necessary language (French) to enable them to bear their part in it. As for the mauvaise honte, I hope you are above it. Your figure is like other people's; I suppose you will take care that your dress shall be so too, and to avoid any singularity. What then should you be ashamed of; and why not go into a mixed company, with as much ease, and as little concern, as you would go into your own room? Vice and ignorance are the only things I know, which one ought to be ashamed of: keep but clear of them, and you may go any where, without fear or concern. I have known some people, who, from feeling the pain and inconveniencies of this mauvaise honte, have rushed into the other extreme, and turned impudent; as cowards sometimes grow desperate from the excess of danger: but this too is carefully to be avoided; there being nothing more generally shocking than impudence. The medium, between these two extremes, marks out the well bred man; he feels himself firm and easy in all companies; is modest without being bashful, and steady without being impudent: if he is a stranger, he observes, with care, the manners and ways of the people the most esteemed at that place, and conforms to them with complaisance. Instead of finding fault with the customs of that place, and telling the people that the English ones are a thousand times better (as my countrymen are very apt to do), he commends their table, their dress, their houses, and their manners, a little more, it may be, than he really thinks they deserve. But this degree of complaisance is neither criminal nor abject; and is but a small price to pay for the good will and affection of the people you converse with. As the generality of people are weak enough to be pleased with these little things, those who refuse to please them, so cheaply, are, in my mind, weaker than they. There is a very pretty little French book, written by L'Abbé de Bellegarde, entitled, L'Art de plaire dans la Conversation; and, though I confess that it is impossible to reduce the art of pleasing to a system; yet this book is not wholly useless; I dare say you may get it at Geneva, if not at Lausanne, and I would advise you to read it. But this principle I will lay down, That the desire of pleasing is at least half the art of doing it; the rest depends only upon the manner, which attention, observation, and frequenting good company will teach. But if you are lazy, careless, and indifferent whether you please or not, depend upon it you never will please. This letter is insensibly grown too long; but, as I always flatter myself that my experience may be of some use to your youth and inexperience, I throw out, as it occurs to me, and shall continue to do so, every thing that I think may be of the least advantage to you in this important and decisive period of your life. God preserve you! P.S. I am much better, and shall leave this place soon. DEAR BOY, LETTER LXXX. Bath, October the 4th, O. S. 1746. THOUGH I employ so much of my time in writing to you, I confess, I have often my doubts, whether it is to any purpose. I know how unwelcome advice generally is; I know that those who want it most like it and follow it least; and I know, too, that the advice of parents, more particularly, is ascribed to the moroseness, the imperiousness, or the garrulity of old age. But then, on the other hand, I flatter myself, that as your own reason (though too young as yet to suggest much to you of itself), is however, strong enough to enable you, both to judge of and receive plain truths: I flatter myself, I say, that your own reason, young as it is, must tell you, that I can |