Candius and Livia by overreaching their fathers. Half. Let me alone, Non enim mea pigra juventus: there 's matter in this noddle. Enter Lucio. But look where Prisius' boy comes, as fit as a pudding for a dog's mouth. Luc. Pop three knaves in a sheath, I'll make it a right Tunbridge case and be the bodkin. Ris. Nay, the bodkin is here already; you must be the knife. Half. I am the bodkin; look well to your ears, I must bore them. Dro. Mew thy tongue or we'll cut it out; this I speak representing the person of a knife, as thou didst that in shadow of a bodkin. Luc. I must be gone. Taedet, it irketh; Oportet, it behoveth. My wits work like barm, alias yeast, alias sizing, alias rising, alias God's good. Half. The new wine is in thine head, yet was he fain to take this metaphor from ale; and now you talk of ale, let us all to the wine. Dro. Four makes a mess, and we have a mess of masters that must be cozened; let us lay our heads together, they are married and cannot. Half. Let us consult at the tavern, where, after to the health of Memphio, drink we to the life of Stellio; I carouse to Prisius, and brinch 55 you Mas.56 Sperantus; we shall cast up our accounts and discharge our stomachs, like men that can digest anything. Luc. I see not yet what you go about. Dro. Lucio, that can pierce a mud wall of twenty foot thick, would make us believe he cannot see a candle through a paper lanthorn; his knavery is beyond Ela, and yet he says he knows not Gam ut.57 Luc. I am ready; if any cozenage be ripe, I'll shake the tree. Half. Nay, I hope to see thee so strong to shake three trees 58 at once. Dro. We burn time, for I must give a reckoning of my day's work; let us close to the bush 59 ad deliberandum. Half. Indeed, Inter pocula philosophandum: it is good to plea among pots. implication 58 i. e. the gallows. is that Lucio, 59 An ivy bush was though a past the sign of master of knavery, does not admit knowing anything of it. 60 Felony was punished by branding in the hand. 61 drawers of wine; hence topers. 62 head. 63 loiterer. bush, a notable nest for a grape owl. I'll ferret him out, yet in the end use him friendly; I cannot be merry till I hear what's done in the marriages. Exit into tavern. Enter Prisius. Pris. I think Lucio be gone a-squirreling, but I'll squirrel him for it; I sent him on my errand, but I must go for an answer myself. I have tied up the loving worm my daughter, and will see whether fancy can worm fancy out of her head. This green nosegay 65 I fear my boy hath smelt to, for if he get but a penny in his purse he turns it suddenly into argentum potabile; 66 I must search every place for him, for I stand on thorns till I hear what he hath done. 67 Exit into tavern. Enter Sperantus. Sper. Well, be as may be is no banning. I think I have charmed my young master: a hungry meal, a ragged coat, and a dry cudgel have put him quite beside his love and his logic too. Besides his pigsnie is put up, and therefore now I'll let him take the air and follow Stellio's daughter with all his learning, if he mean to be my heir. The boy hath wit sans measure, more than needs; cat's meat and dog's meat enough for the vantage. Well, without Halfpenny all my wit is not worth a dodkin; 68 that mite is miching 69 in this grove, for as long as his name is Halfpenny he will be banqueting for the other halfpenny. Exit into tavern. By her face I am sure it is she. O fair face! O lovely countenance! How now, Candius, if thou begin to slip at beauty on a sudden, thou wilt surfeit with carousing it at the last. Remember that Livia is faithful; aye, and let thine eyes witness Silena is amiable. Here shall I please my father and myself: I will learn to be obedient, and come what will, I'll make a way; if she seem coy I'll practise all the art of love; if I find her coming,70 all the pleasures of love. Sil. My name is Silena; I care not who know it, so I do not. My father keeps me close, so he does; and now I have stolen out, so I have, to go to old Mother Bombie to know my fortune, so I will; for I have as fair a face as ever trod on shoe sole, and as free a foot as ever looked with two eyes. Can. (Aside.) What? I think she is lunatic or foolish. Thou art a fool, Candius: so fair a face cannot be the scabbard of a foolish mind; mad she may be, for commonly in beauty so rare there falls passion's extreme. Love and beauty disdain a mean, not therefore because beauty is no virtue, but because it is happiness; and we scholars know that virtue is not to be praised, but honored. I will put on my best grace.-(To Silena.) Sweet wench, thy face is lovely, thy body comely, and all that the eyes can see, enchanting. You see how, unacquainted, I am bold to board 71 you. Sil. My father boards me already; therefore I care not if your name were Geoffrey. Can. She raves, or overreaches. I am one, sweet soul, that loves you, brought hither by report of your beauty, and here languisheth with your rareness. Sil. I thank you that you would call. Can. I will always call on such a saint that hath power to release my sorrows; yield, fair creature, to love. Sil. I am none of that sect. Can. The loving sect is an ancient sect. and an honorable, and therefore love should be in a person so perfect. Sil. Much! 72 Can. I love thee much; give me one word of comfort. Sil. I' faith, sir, no! and so tell your master. 67 pig's eye, a term 69 loitering. of endearment. 70 responsive. small Dutch 71 accost. 68 a coin. 72 an exclamation of contempt. Can. I have no master, but come to make choice of a mistress. Sil. Ah ha! are you there with your bears? 73 Can. (Aside.) Doubtless she is an idiot of the newest cut. I'll once more try her. I have loved thee long, Silena. Sil. In your tother hose. Can. (Aside.) Too simple to be natural, too senseless to be artificial. You said you went to know your fortune: I am a scholar, and am cunning in palmistry. Sil. The better for you, sir. Here's my hand; what's o'clock? Can. The line of life is good, Venus' mount very perfect: you shall have a scholar to your first husband. Sil. You are well seen 74 in crane's dirt, your father was a poulter. Ha, ha, ha! Can. Why laugh you? Sil. Because you should see my teeth. Can. (Aside.) Alas, poor wench, I see now also thy folly; a fair fool is like a fresh weed, pleasing leaves and sour juice. I will not yet leave her; she may dissemble. I cannot choose but love thee. Sil. I had thought to ask you. Can. Nay then, farewell; either too proud to accept, or too simple to understand. Sil. You need not be so crusty, you are not so hard baked. Can. Now I perceive thy folly, who hath raked together all the odd blind phrases that help them that know not how to discourse; but when they cannot answer wisely, either with gibing cover their rudeness, or by some new-coined byword bewray their peevishness. I am glad of this; now shall I have color to refuse the match, and my father reason to accept of Livia. I will home and repeat to my father our wise encounter, and he shall perceive there is nothing so fulsome as a she fool. Bom. Sil. Who's there? One that would be a maid. Bom. Hold up thy hand; not so high.— Because of love and natural bonds. Sil. I thank you for nothing, because I understand nothing: though you be as old as you are, yet am I as young as I am, and because that I am so fair, therefore are you so foul; and so farewell, frost, my fortune naught me cost. Mem. SCENE 5. Exeunt. Enter Memphio, Stellio, Prisius, How luckily we met on a sudden in a tavern, that drunk not together almost these thirty years. Stel. A tavern is the rendezvous, the ex- Mem. Well, the world is wanton since I on Pris. Is't possible? Stel. Nay, 't is true; they say ale is out of request, 't is hogs' porridge, broth for beggars, a caudle for constables, watchmen's mouth glue; the better it is, the more like bird lime it is, and never makes one staid but in the stocks. Mem. I'll teach my wag-halter to know grapes from barley. Pris. And I mine to discern a spigot from a faucet. Sper. And I mine to judge the difference between a black bowl and a silver goblet. Stel. And mine shall learn the odds between a stand 80 and a hogshead; yet I cannot choose but laugh to see how my wag answered me when I struck him for drinking sack. Why, what said he? Pris. Sper. Who would think that my hop on Cerere et Baccho friget Venus: 83 without wine and sugar his veins would wax cold. Mem. They were all in a pleasant vein! But I must be gone, and take account of my boy's business; farewell, neighbors, God knows when we shall meet again.(Aside.) Yet I have discovered 84 nothing: my wine hath been my wit's friend. I long to hear what Dromio hath done. Erit. Stel. I cannot stay, but this good fellowship shall cost me the setting on at our next meeting.- (Aside.) I am glad I blabbed nothing of the marriage; now I for 80 cask. 83 a Latin proverb. 84 revealed. Mæs. Our parents are poor, our love unnatural; what then can happen to make us happy? Ser. Only to be content with our father's mean estate, to combat against our own intemperate desires, and yield to the success of fortune, who, though she hath framed us miserable, cannot make us monstrous. Mas. It is good counsel, fair sister, if the necessity of love could be relieved by counsel. Yet this is our comfort, that these unnatural heats have stretched themselves no further than thoughts. Unhappy me, that they should stretch so! Ser. That which nature warranteth laws forbid. Strange it seemeth in sense that because thou art mine, therefore thou must not be mine. Bom. Let me see your hands, and look on me steadfastly with your eyes. You shall be married tomorow hand in hand, By the laws of God, nature, and the land; Your parents shall be glad, and give you their land. You shall each of you displace a fool, And both together must relieve a fool. If this be not true, call me old fool. Mas. This is my sister, marry we cannot; our parents are poor and have no land to give us; each of us is a fool to come for counsel to such an old fool. Ser. These doggerel rhymes and obscure words coming out of the mouth of such a weather-beaten witch are thought divinations of some holy spirit, being but dreams of decayed brains; for mine own part, I would thou mightest sit on that stool till he and I marry by law. Bom. I say Mother Bombie never speaks but once, and yet never spake untruth once. Ser. Come, brother, let us to our poor home; this is our comfort, to bewray our passions since we cannot enjoy our love. Mas. Content, sweet sister, and learn of me hereafter that these old saws of such old hags are but false fires to lead one out of a plain path into a deep pit. SCENE 2. Enter Dromio and Riscio. Exeunt. Dro. Ingenium quondam fuerat pretiosus auro: the time was when wit would work like wax and crock up gold like honey. 86 shamefacedness. (Bond.) 87 87 collect. |