through you like the water in an urinal, that not an eye that sees you but is a physician to comment on your malady.

Val. But tell me, dost thou know my lady Silvia ?
Speed. She that you gaze on so, as she sits at supper?
Val. Hast thou observed that? even she I mean.
Speed. Why, sir, I know her not.

Val. Dost thou know her by my gazing on her, and yet

know'st her not?

Speed. Is she not hard-favour'd, sir?
Val. Not so fair, boy, as well-favour'd.
Speed. Sir, I know that well enough.
Val. What dost thou know?

Speed. That she is not so fair as, of you, well favour'd. Val. I mean, that her beauty is exquisite, but her favour infinite.

Speed. That's because the one is painted, and the other out of all count.

Val. How painted? and how out of count?

Speed. Marry, sir, so painted, to make her fair, that no man counts of her beauty.

Val. How esteem'st thou me? I account of her beauty.
Speed. You never saw her since she was deform'd.
Val. How long hath she been deform'd?

Speed. Ever since you loved her.

Val. I have loved her ever since I saw her; and still I see her beautiful.

Speed. If you love her, you cannot see her.

Val. Why?

Speed. Because Love is blind. O, that you had mine eyes; or your own eyes had the lights they were wont to have when you chid at Sir Proteus for going ungarter'd !6

6 So, in As You Like It, iii. 2, Rosalind mentions going ungartered as one of the undoubted marks of love: "Then your hose should be ungartered, your bonnet unbanded," &c.

Val. What should I see then?

Speed. Your own present folly, and her passing deformity: For he, being in love, could not see to garter his hose; And you, being in love, cannot see to beyond your nose.

Val. Belike, boy, then, you are in love; for last morning you could not see to wipe my shoes.

Speed. True, sir; I was in love with my bed: I thank you, you swinged me for my love, which makes me the bolder to chide you for yours.

Val. In conclusion, I stand affected to her.

Speed. I would you were set;7 so your affection would

cease.

Val. Last night she enjoin'd me to write some lines to one she loves.

Speed. And have you?

Val. I have.

Speed. Are they not lamely writ?

Val. No, boy, but as well as I can do them. Peace! here she comes.

Speed. [Aside.] O excellent motion !8 O exceeding puppet! Now will he interpret to her.

Enter SILVIA.

Val. Madam and mistress, a thousand good-morrows! Speed. [Aside.] O, give ye good even! here's a million

of manners.

Sil. Sir Valentine and servant, to you two thousand. Speed. [Aside.] He should give her interest, and she gives it him.

7 Set for seated, in opposition to stand of the preceding line. An allusion seems implied also to the setting of the Sun, as the Sun then ceases to shine.

8 Motion was used of a puppet-show, and the showman was called the interpreter. Speed means, "What a fine puppet-show we shall have now! Here is the principal puppet, and my master will act as showman."

Val. As you enjoin'd me, I have writ your letter
Unto the secret nameless friend of yours;
Which I was much unwilling to proceed in,

But for my duty to your ladyship.

[Gives a letter.

Sil. I thank you, gentle servant: 'tis very clerkly done. Val. Now trust me, madam, it came hardly off; For, being ignorant to whom it goes,

I writ at random, very doubtfully.

Sil. Perchance you think too much of so much pains?
Val. No, madam; so it stead you, I will write,
Please you command, a thousand times as much :
And yet -

Sil. A pretty period! Well, I guess the sequel;
And yet I will not name't;·

And yet take this again;

- and yet I care not ;

and yet I thank you ;

Meaning henceforth to trouble you no more.

Speed. [Aside.] And yet you will; and yet another yet. Val. What means your ladyship? do you not like it?

Sil. Yes, yes; the lines are very quaintly9 writ :

But, since unwillingly, take them again;

Nay, take them.

Val. Madam, they are for you.

[Gives back the letter.

Sil. Ay, ay, you writ them, sir, at my request; But I will none of them; they are for you:

I would have had them writ more movingly.

Val. Please you, I'll write your ladyship another.
Sil. And when it's writ, for my sake read it over :

And if it please you, so; if not, why, so.

Val. If it please me, madam! what then?

Sil. Why, if it please you, take it for your labour: And so, good morrow, servant.

[Exit.

9 Quaint and quaintly are used by Shakespeare very much like the Latin comptus, from which the words are probably derived; in the sense of artful, ingenious, elegant.

Speed. O jest unseen, inscrutable, invisible,

As a nose on a man's face, or a weathercock on a steeple !
My master sues to her; and she hath taught her suitor,
He being her pupil, to become her tutor.

O excellent device! was there ever heard a better,

That my master, being scribe, to himself should write the letter?

Val. How now, sir! what are you reasoning with yourself?

Speed. Nay, I was rhyming: 'tis you that have the reason. Val. To do what?

Speed. To be a spokesman from Madam Silvia.

Val. To whom?

Speed. To yourself: why, she wooes you by a figure.
Val. What figure?

Speed. By a letter, I should say.

Val. Why, she hath not writ to me?

Speed. What need she, when she hath made you write to yourself? Why, do you not perceive the jest?

Val. No, believe me.

Speed. No believing you, indeed, sir. But did you per

ceive her earnest?

Val. She gave me none, except an angry word.

Speed. Why, she hath given you a letter.

Val. That's the letter I writ to her friend.

Speed. And that letter hath she deliver'd, and there an end.

Val. I would it were no worse.

Speed. I'll warrant you, 'tis as well:

For often have you writ to her; and she, in modesty,
Or else for want of idle time, could not again reply;

Or, fearing else some messenger that might her mind discover,
Herself hath taught her love himself to write unto her lover.

All this I speak in print,10 for in print I found it. — Why muse you, sir? 'tis dinner-time.

Val. I have dined.

Speed. Ay, but hearken, sir: Though the chameleon Love can feed on the air,11 I am one that am nourish'd by my victuals, and would fain have meat. O, be not like your mistress; be moved, be moved.

[Exeunt.

SCENE II. Verona. The Garden of JULIA's House.

Enter PROTEUS and JULIA.

Pro. Have patience, gentle Julia.

Jul. I must, where is no remedy.

Pro. When possibly I can, I will return. ·

Jul. If you turn not, you will return the sooner.

Keep this remembrance for thy Julia's sake.

[Gives him a ring.

Pro. Why, then we'll make exchange; here, take you

this.

[Gives her another.

Jul. And seal the bargain with a holy kiss.
Pro. Here is my hand for my true constancy;
And when that hour o'erslips me in the day
Wherein I sigh not, Julia, for thy sake,
The next-ensuing hour some foul mischance
Torment me for my love's forgetfulness!
My father stays my coming; answer not;

10 To speak in print is to speak with precision, or, as Hamlet says, “by the card." Speed is quibbling still, having probably found the lines in some printed ballad.

11 Upon this, Staunton quotes from The World in the Moon, 1697: "Oh Palmerin, Palmerin, how cheaply dost thou furnish out thy table of love! Canst feed upon a thought! live upon hopes! feast upon a look! fatten upon a smile! and surfeit and die upon a kiss! What a Cameleon lover is a Platonick!"